This Time It's Right
by TheFabDonna
Summary: At the CarJax wedding, Alexis thinks about all the things she as lost and all the chances she has blown. She wonders if she ever will find her prince Charming. JasLexis with a possible Sexis triangle.
1. Thinking Things Over

**A/N: Alexis got full custody over Molly, and JaSam never reunited after the Sic betrayal and Liason's NOP. Everything else should be like on the show. **

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Alexis looks over at Carly and Jax dancing and suddenly wishes that Sam hadn't left. Alexis could see that Jax was happy and even though it annoyed her to no end, Carly looked happy too. In her heart all Alexis really wanted was for Jax to be happy, but did he really have to find happiness with Carly? Alexis knew everything would change between her and Jax now; there was no way they could be like they were before.

Not with Carly in the picture, no matter how much she loved Jax, there were a few truths in the world that would never change, and one of them was the fact that she and Carly would always despise each other.

Alexis' attention again drew towards Carly and Jax when she heard Carly let out a laugh she was sure she hadn't heard from Carly in years, and by looking at them Alexis realized just how much she had given up because of Carly. Sometimes it felt like her whole life was a mess simply because of Carly Benson Corinthos-now Jacks.

Maybe blaming Carly for all the crappy things in her life was the easy way out, but Alexis was feeling rather crappy that Carly was happy with her best friend while she was sitting all alone after a ugly divorce, battling cancer and trying desperately to reconnect with her oldest daughter.

It was easier to blame Carly, maybe because she actually had a reason too. But seeing Carly with Jax, so happy, annoyed her more than she expected.

Seeing Carly with the only man she had ever truly trusted, with the exception of Stefan and Nikolas, almost pissed her off. Alexis had always been slightly in love with Jax, ever since their faux marriage. Her marriage to Jax, however unreal it might have been, has showed her just how kind and gentle Jax was. And just how far he was willing to go for those he loved.

Maybe especially how far he was willing to go, and just how much he was willing to sacrifice for his brother. They were a lot like that way, Jax and her. She would hate for Carly to take that away from him, the sweetness, the devotion, the trust, but she knew Carly would ruin it.

Carly had a way of destroying men. And relationships.

Alexis looked inside her purse and pulled out a picture of Kristina, Sonny and herself. Kristina had begged Alexis to come with them to Kelly two weeks ago, and Mike had snapped the picture.

They looked happy; they looked like a real family.

Sometimes, Alexis wished that they were.

Alexis blamed Carly for the fact that Kristina didn't have a "normal" family. Carly and her selfishness and the fact that Carly couldn't stand to see Sonny happy with somebody other than her.

Maybe it wasn't only Carly's fault but it felt like it, especially at moments like these when she was alone and Carly was not.

Alexis blamed Carly for the fact that Kristina will never know how much her mother really had loved her father, that she was created in love and not some random hook-up. No, Kristina had been created out of a love that Alexis just had found easier to deny over the years, because truthfully she still loved Sonny.

It was just easier to pretend that she didn't, it always had been. That's why she kept saying it was a mistake and it should never have happened every time the topic gets brought up. It's easy to lie when you're a Cassadine; it's in your blood.

Because obviously she didn't regret what had happened between her and Sonny, how could she? Kristina was the result of that night. Kristina, her beautiful baby girl, who had saved her in ways she never even thought possible.

Kristina was probably also one of the reasons why Carly hated Alexis's guts about as much as Alexis hated Carly. Alexis was one hundred percent certain that Carly HATED the fact that it was Alexis, not Carly that had given birth to Sonny's first born.

That was probably the reason why Carly had threatened her too.

A part of Alexis would always regret not telling Sonny the truth about Kristina's paternity from the start. Maybe things would have been different, maybe they could have been a real family, if it hadn't been for Carly.

The irony of it all was, and Alexis knew it, she would never have been in Sonny's life to begin with if it wasn't for Carly. Carly and Jason. If Jason never had sued for custody of Michael, Alexis would never have been Jason's lawyer and then by extension become Sonny's lawyer.

Alexis decided not to dwell on the events that had led her into the mob war, even if she still believed Jason is the better parent for Michael. And she certainly does not regret representing him.

She looked over at Carly again, and curses the woman for screwing up the lives of so many good men, and now… she might actually do the same to the other man Alexis ever truly loved, Jax.

Alexis was in love with Jax, and she had been for years. But her feelings had grown stronger over the past few months. The fact that Jax had stood by her during her cancer when her so-called husband had betrayed her in ways she didn't even think was possible.

Ric's betrayal had only made her realize what she had always known deep inside; Jax was the only man that she could trust.

Alexis knew that marrying Ric was a mistake, maybe the biggest mistake she had ever made. Or falling in love with Ric was the biggest mistake of them all. She should have known that Ric could never love her, Alexis wasn't even sure he had it in him.

The only reason why Ric had married her was so that he could play daddy to Sonny's first born, and she had let him.

Alexis wishes she had found some else to marry, obviously Jax had have been involved in his own drama with Courtney. Besides two marriages of convenience might have been a little bit too much for one couple.

None the less she knew she would always be slightly thankful towards Ric, not for anything he had done intentionally, but because he had given her Molly. The sweetest and most beautiful girl she'd ever seen. Of course with the exception of her sister.

Alexis knew she would always be thankful for Kristina and Molly, and two their daddies, even if they had broken her heart to what seems to be beyond repair. But that doesn't change the fact that she was still bitter of the lost chances with Sonny.

Not that she was sure that Sonny ever would get a 100 percent over Carly. Why she couldn't even imagine. Carly was nothing but destructive, and the power Carly had over men, and the way she made them lose everything that they had and become a shell of what they had used to be.

Carly was destructive, manipulating, deceiving, a liar and she always had a plan up her sleeve. Yet it was Carly that always ended up with the prince. Alexis couldn't keep herself from thinking when she would find the man that would love her completely and selfishly, and only her. Her prince Charming.

Alexis turned when she heard a voice.

"Alexis?"

**--**

**A/N 2: I know this chapter is slightly ****short and I think the other chapters will be longer. I'm looking at around 12 chapters right now, might be longer depending on where my muse takes me. **


	2. The Unexpected

**A/N: Another small detail that I don't know if will make a difference but seeing as Nikolas and Mr. Craig is a possible part of Alexis' storyline. Mr. Craig is for one NOT Jerry Jacks. (I hated that "twist") and Mr. Craig is not blackmailing Nik and Robin. However Robin & Patrick are broken up.**

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"Alexis?"

Alexis turned at the sound of her name.

"Jason?" she asked surprised.

He was the last one she had expected to see. Especially not right now. "Did you want something?"

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to dance." Jason asked her, and it sounded like he was almost embarrassed to ask, but Alexis didn't think embarrassment was an emotion Jason Morgan even possessed.

"I was under the impression that Jason Morgan doesn't dance" Alexis couldn't help but smirk at him. He was Jason Morgan after all.

"You're right, I don't." he smiled back, "But I've just spent the last twenty minutes listening to Spinelli go on and on about how Stone Cold should ask the Goddess mother to dance because the Goddess mother is too much of a lady to ever dance with the Jackal."

That brought a laugh to Alexis, a laugh she realized she had needed more than she had thought. "So, you asked me to dance to shut up your little friend, huh?" Alexis teased.

She knew that Jason wasn't like other people, he didn't think or even react like normal people. It was actually one of the things that Alexis had liked with Jason from the first moment, that and the fact that he loved with all that he was, because that's what Robin thought him.

Jason shrugged in response to Alexis' "accusation".

Alexis gave out a little laugh, "So do you want to dance? Or did you just want to get away from Spinelli?"

It looked like Jason hesitated for a moment before he reached out his hand. Alexis took it, without a moment of hesitation. She needed to get away from her own thoughts for a while, they were too destructive.

Jason took Alexis in his arms, and Alexis felt a slightly familiar feeling of safety. And it surprised her, but she didn't want to think about it. Maybe she knew why it was familiar as an image popped into her mind, which included a lot of rum and the island of Puerto Rico.

Alexis looked at Jason and saw a look in his eyes that were way too familiar, "You feel like you lost her too, don't you?"

It looked like Jason was taken by surprise by Alexis' forwardness, though Alexis couldn't see quite why, she had always been rather forward when it came to Jason.

Jason looked at her before he said, "It's different this time" as if that should explain everything, and actually it did, because Alexis felt it too.

It was different this time, because Jax wasn't Sonny, and Carly though she might look as the next blonde bimbo to enter Jax' bed, Alexis knew better. Carly had more spunk that anyone Jax had ever fallen for, including her own daughter.

Alexis had seen Jax with Chloe, the fashion designer, Brenda the supermodel, Courtney the lost prey, innocent women that needed Jax' knight in shining armor attitude. Carly didn't. Sure, Carly needed to be saved, every once in a while. But even if Alexis hated Carly, she couldn't deny the fact that Carly was a strong, willed, woman that probably didn't need anyone. Except Jason.

Alexis hated to admit or think about it, but she and Carly was the same that way. Alexis never needed anybody to save her, she did that herself, and she didn't really need anyone. Except Jax.

But she didn't want to think about that now, quite frankly she didn't want to think about anything, not Sonny, not Carly, not Jax, not all the people she lost, she just wanted to be right here, no matter whose arms she was in. It felt peaceful.

And she should have known it wouldn't last.

"Jase! What are you doing dancing with her?" Alexis could hear the disgust in Carly's voice.

"Carly, he is the best person and I am the best person, and I believe it's a tradition for the best people to dance together" Alexis said, so quick that Jason couldn't get in a word.

It always surprised Alexis have fast she could come up with comebacks when it came to Carly. It was something she couldn't explain, or maybe she could. They Cassadine blood in her had only grown stronger and stronger the last few years, and she wasn't about to let herself be talked down by common trash like Carly.

Alexis was about to throw another remark when she saw Jax approaching and remembered that she had promised him to be nice to Carly, at least for the day.

"He's all yours" she said instead, and left Carly and Jason on the dance floor together and soon they were dancing.

Alexis saw that Jason was not happy about it, but she has yet to see Jason Morgan deny Carly Benson and whatever last name is appropriate for the time anything. So of course he would dance with Carly if she asked, even if he hated dancing.

But he had asked me, the thought penetrated Alexis' mind, like it meant something, which it obviously hadn't. He'd only asked her so that Spinelli would stop bugging him. And she was Sam's mother, and even if Sam had moved on with Cruz, Jason had loved Sam and by extension Jason had cared about what was happening to Alexis during her cancer. That was all.

Alexis went for her champagne glass and poured the entire content down, she was sick of all this thinking. She was sick of all the happy people around her, she needed something stronger.

She went over to the bar and ordered tequila even if she knew it would only make her feel crappy tomorrow. She was done living for tomorrow, if nothing else; the cancer had thought her that. You know besides the fact that her husband was a cheating jerk who really didn't care about what happened to her.

Alexis swallowed the drink, thinking about Ric really just made her want to drink even more. Funny how scumbags like Ric can do that to you. How she wishes she had been smart enough to NOT fall for Ric Lansing. But that was too late.

Maybe she was doomed to be miserable, that why she only fell for guys who didn't deserve her, like Ric, guys who break her heart, like Ned and Sonny or guys who don't see how much she really loves them, like Jax. Alexis needed someone else; she needed some good old fashion fun.

Fun, she had forgotten how to have fun. She was never the fun one anyway, and then again how could she? With the way she was raised, it was a wonder wasn't in Shadybrook along with Laura Spencer.

She needed more to drink.

"Give me another shot, and leave the bottle" she asked the bartender.

"My wedding is that crappy huh?" Alexis hadn't heard Jax sneaking up on her, and looking at the bright smile on his made her want the tequila even more.

"My life sucks, Jax. That got nothing to do with you or your bridezilla". Ouch, maybe she had a little bit too much to drink already. But if she had, she didn't care.

"Alexis, should you be drinking...You know with your..."

"My dying of cancer, divorcing my sleazebag of a husband, and watching my best friend marry the woman I can't stand?" Alexis interrupted him before he could finish, "I think that's exactly why I am drinking."

Jax looked at him with those eyes that Alexis both loved and hated, right now she hated them. Because she wanted them to look at her the same way they had looked at Carly hours earlier when he had said "I do".

"Why can't I find a man like you, Jax? Someone good, nice, who loves me for who I am?" Alexis had been careful to say LIKE you. This was really not the time to tell him that it's been years and years since she only looked on him as a friend.

"You will, you just haven't been lucky enough to see him." Jax said, and smiled. "Or maybe he's roght in front of you and you just haven't noticed.."

Maybe HE hasn't noticed, Alexis though. And she was going to say something when Jason came up to them. "Carly wants you" he just told Jax in a voice that confirmed what Alexis already knew, Jason was as thrilled about this marriage as she was. Maybe even for the same reasons.

"I have to go, it's her day after all" Jax said, apologetically.

"It ain't her first, and it won't be her last" Alexis muttered after Jax left.

She turned to Jason, "Care to join me?"

He shrugged again, Alexis had noticed he usually did that when he wasn't too sure what it was expected from him to say or do.

"Only if we can do it somewhere else than here." He said.

Alexis smiled, she was too drunk to care where she went or who she went with, took her purse and left.

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**A/N: It might seem a little sudden on Jason's part to just leave with Alexis. Next chapter will be inside Jason's head to explain some of his motivation to make this make more sense. **


	3. Escape

Jason had no idea what he was doing sitting in the car with a slightly drunk Alexis Davis, all he knew was that when Alexis asked him to join her, he saw it as a way out.

He had been talking to Robin before he had seen Alexis and Jax at the bar. Robin had been telling him about how she had caught Patrick making out with one of the nurses at the hospital, and this time she was done with him for good or something like that. Jason however had just seen that lost little girl he had rescued on that bridge 11 years ago, and the girl who saved him.

He wondered what had gone so terribly wrong for him, he had lost Robin, partly because of himself, partly because of her; he had lost Sam, Courtney, even Liz years ago. And Carly, the woman he had been willing to sacrifice everything for, her and her little boy.

Heartbreak, Jason thought. Just a whole bunch of heartbreak. When Robin told him she had told AJ the truth, and he suddenly lost all faith in the girl/woman who had made him who he was.

When Carly came down the stairs in Sonny's penthouse wearing nothing but his shirt, and again he wondered what happened to the strong, independent woman he thought he loved.

Then it was Liz, she was supposed to be different. She didn't have the same issues that Carly had, or the same past that Robin had. She was just Liz. Sure, he had been there when Lucky died, but he was just her friend. It wasn't like Robin after Stone. She was lost, and she needed someone to be there for her, and he had been. That was it; he had loved Carly then anyway. No matter how destructive she had been. He had wanted to save her, from Tony, from AJ, especially from herself.

He and Liz hadn't even started dating until years later, after Lucky came back, after she found Lucky in bed with Sarah. The irony didn't escape him, they had started dating after she found her soul mate in bed with her sister, and 4 years later, she finds him in bed with Maxie Jones. And who does Liz turn to, to heal her broken heart? Jason, just like she always did.

He was the one they all turned too, Robin after Stone, Liz after Lucky, Carly after AJ and Tony, Courtney after AJ, Sam after Sonny. Somehow he was always there when they needed him, yet when he needs someone, who is there for him?

No one really, he loved them. He loves Liz but where have that lead him? Liz is pregnant with his child, but he can't tell anyone. Because it was too dangerous, it was always too dangerous. It was too dangerous for him to be with Sam or Robin, or even Liz; it was too dangerous for him to have a family. Yet, he loved them. He already love his child, even if he knew he couldn't.

And seeing Liz at the wedding, with Lucky, the guy who had cheated on her and broken her heart on so many occasions that Jason simply had stopped counting, well that was enough to make him want to drink.

First seeing Carly finally happy with someone that wasn't him, then seeing Liz pregnant and with Lucky, then talking to Robin and remembering the lost little girl on that bridge, he had needed a drink. But not there, he had just wanted to say goodbye to Carly before he left, and well… now he was sitting a car with Alexis.

Escape. That's why he was in there. He wanted to escape from his past. From Carly, from Robin, from Liz. From all of it. Everyone depended on him, and he was sick of it.

He was always there to pick up the pieces everyone left behind, Sonny, Carly, Robin, Sam, Liz, even Emily. And though he loved all of them, he sometimes wondered if he had been better off without any of them. If he had been better off if Jason Morgan never existed.

Jason looked over at Alexis in the passenger seat, she looked more peaceful now. More than she had when she was telling off Jax moments earlier.

He had never seen Alexis talk that way to Jax; he didn't even think she could. Sure, if it had been him, or Sonny, or even Luke. Sure, then Alexis put on the Alexis act, and showed them that she didn't take any of that bullshit, or at least she used to once upon a time.

But then again, he remembers that Sonny once told him that alcohol makes Alexis more impulsive. It brings out the Cassadine in her in many ways, well the less lethal one, that is.

Jason wasn't afraid of many things, but he was afraid of the Cassadine side in Alexis, and in Sam for that matter. It was very destructive and it had the power to kill anyone and everything around him. He remembers seeing it in Nikolas when he was Liz way back when, and even at times with Emily. That's why he didn't think Nikolas deserved Emily; he would never be man enough for her.

But you can't control love, and as Liz once told him, love shouldn't be safe. Sure, she had been talking about Sonny and Emily, or at least on the surface they had.

Sonny and Emily, Sonny and Carly, Sonny and Alexis, Sonny and Brenda, and the list goes on. Sonny had it all, he had the family Jason longed for, but that he never would admit he missed, the little boy that was supposed to be his before it got too dangerous.

But if it was too dangerous for him, why wasn't it too dangerous for Sonny? What made Sonny different?

He was sick of sacrificing everything for Sonny, for Carly, heck even for Robin and Liz. That was probably another reason why he was in this car with Alexis.

Alexis didn't expect anything from him, not anymore. He was no longer her client, she did not work for Sonny, and he was not dating her daughter. Alexis didn't expect anything from him.

He didn't need to be a good friend, a good boyfriend, a brother, a son, a father to her. Not anymore. That felt free, knowing that what he did tonight won't affect the rest of his life.

Jason was shocked when Alexis spoke to him.

"Do you ever miss it?"

"Huh, miss what?"

"Your other life…"

Jason wondered what she meant, his life as a Quartermaine? He couldn't remember that.

His life before he was Sonny's left hand? He wasn't even sure if he could remember that

Life when it was simple. And he said that, the only thing that made sense.

"I miss the time when the only thing I knew was loving Robin"

The words surprised him even before they came out of his mouth. He turned quickly to Alexis to try to explain, but he suddenly got a feeling that she knew what he meant.

"You still wish life was that simple right? That's the good thing about remembering nothing. You have no responsibilities to anything but the present"

Jason had been right, Alexis did understand. Something that made him remember. Alexis always had seemed to understand him, and maybe more importantly she had believed in him when he wanted custody of Michael.

Alexis believed he was a good father.

"How about you, do you ever wish life was more simple?"

Jason didn't even know why he asked, he rarely asked anything, he just listened, and women like men who listen. That he had learned.

"I don't think my life ever has been simple, Jason."

Five words came into Jason's mind when he heard that.

Ned

Ric

Sonny

Cassadine

_KRISTINA_

"Dammit, Kristina." He thought.

He was driving towards the Penthouse, and never had the thought of Kristina Cassadine crossed his mind.

The same apartment Kristina and Alexis had lived in was now his, the same apartment.

Jason turned at the next turn, and they were there. At the parking lot. He had to say something.

."Do you mind if we go up to my place, or would you like to go somewhere else?" Jason tried to be sympathetic, but it turned out like that. It was the lamest line ever, but it was the best he could come up with on such short notice.

He didn't know if he could ever have gone back to the place Emily had lived, laughed, cried if she were to ever die, god forbid.

Actually he still had problems with Penthouse 4; the image of Carly in Sonny's shirt was burned into his mind. He wondered if Alexis felt the same way.

It looked like Alexis hesitated for a moment, before answering, "Sure, we can go up."

They got out of the car, stepped into the lobby, not without a few people noticing them, and probably wondering too, everyone knew about Alexis & Sonny, Sam & Jason, Sam & Alexis, but they knew better than to say anything.

That was the downside about living in Port Charles, everyone knew everything about everyone. Especially if that everyone happened to be Sonny Corinthos or Jason Morgan.

Jason had some times wondered if they publish a special magazine devoted to the two of them anytime something big happened in their lives. Anytime Sonny knocked someone up, anytime Jason "saved" one of Sonny's exes, every time one of them got divorced or broke up with their girlfriends, the whole town somehow knew.

Like their personal lives were common knowledge, not that anyone would ever say anything. They would be too scared to, but they all knew.

"Sure, you wanna go up?" Jason asked Alexis one last time before entering the elevator.

Jason could have sworn he saw Alexis draw a deep breath, but that the alcohol in her system still controlled her action.

"Yeah, let's go up there. But I sure hope you got something strong waiting up there, and I don't mean Max or Milo." She said before they both entered the elevator.

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**A/N: I just need some help if anyone has a clue, which bedroom in Jason's apartment used to be Alexis'? The now regrettably pink room or Jason's bedroom?**


	4. Back to the Penthouse

**A/N: I know this is late, and I don't really have a good excuse. I sort of got caught up in what I wanted and what I had to do, this chapter is slightly strange and off and I hope to fix things within the next few chapters. I still have some issues with Jason cuz I see Jason as a very complicated character, and I have trouble getting inside his head. So please give me feedback and tips. Please, I can't do better if I don't know what is wrong. Constructive criticism is WELCOMED with open arms. **

Alexis was standing in the elevator, wondering why the hell she ever agreed on this. She looked over at Jason. He looked about as lost as she did; she had seen it at the wedding, when he gave Carly away. Actually gave his best friend away, it was like he knew it was going to be different this time. Just like she did. It was doomed to be different this time, for all of them.

Jax would never be pleased when Carly ran to Jason, and likewise Carly would never be pleased when Jax came to Alexis for advice. Their lives were changing; their constants were suddenly not as constant anymore.

Jason and Alexis stepped out of the elevator, Alexis turned towards Penthouse 4. It was almost as she expected Johnny to be standing there, "Hello, Ms. Davis" he would say and smile at her. Alexis missed Johnny, and she wondered whatever happened to him. It was always Milo or Max these days.

Alexis mind went behind that door; her memory slowly went to night that had happened for a little over 5 years ago. The night she had gotten everything she had wished for, only to have it be taken away days later.

"Alexis are you coming?"

Jason voice broke her away from her memories, and she entered Penthouse 2. It looked different, yet it was the same Penthouse she had lived in, the last place Kristina had lived, the place where she had found out she was pregnant, the same place she had lost all faith in Sonny, the place she had said that she was in love with Sonny in words. It had been her home once, now… it was like a ghost from a life she could barely remember.

She looked around, and she could almost hear Kristina's voice telling her what do to, telling her how to feel, telling her to be truthful. She wondered how Kristina would have reacted if Alexis told her that she was in love with Jax, and had still let Jax married Carly.

Kristina would probably have killed Carly, or locked her up. Kristina had more Cassadine spunk than Alexis had. Maybe it was because Kristina hadn't been raised by Helena, hadn't lived a life which had made her believe she wasn't worth a crap.

"Do you want a drink?" Jason asked her.

Alexis nodded, "Make it something strong, this day is hard enough as it is."

This day had turned out more painful than she had expected, her cancer is taking its toll on her body, Jax being so damn happy annoyed her, and now she was here. In the Penthouse.

Alexis decided it was better not to think about it and sat herself down on the sofa. She looked over at Jason, he looked worried about something. Should she ask him? Probably not. He hadn't invited her over here so that they could sit and chat about their issues all night. He had brought her here so that they could drink, without worrying about what anyone at that reception might think.

Jason sat down next to Alexis and handed her her drink. Alexis looked at him again, and changed her mind. "Have you ever told her that you are still in love with her?"

It looked like the question had taken Jason by surprise, "Who?"

Alexis looked at Jason like he was the stupidest thing on the planet, "Carly."

Jason looked at Alexis, like he was thinking hard, "No"

"Why not?" Alexis asked, she was never this curious about somebody else' life when it didn't affect her directly, but it was something about tonight. It was probably all the alcohol she had been drinking.

"Come on, Jason. You can tell. I won't tell anyway. We can say it's an attorney/client privilege, you were my client once remember?"

Jason stood up and turned his back on Alexis, "I haven't told her because I know that if I did, she would dump Jax and fly right into my arms."

The answer surprised Alexis, Jason knew that Carly would have left Jax for him, and he loved her, yet he had let her get married today.

"Jason, why is that a bad thing?" Alexis asked without thinking about the heartbreak it would cost Jax if that was ever to happen.

"We're toxic to each other, Alexis. Toxic. As long as we stay friends no one will get hurt. I can't trust myself when I'm with Carly, she makes me do things I would never do for anyone else." He turned again and looked at Alexis.

"You know, Robin once told me that I never lied, except for Carly. That Carly somehow made me less than what I am." He took a deep breath, "Maybe she does, but I have never seen it like that. I know you hate, Carly. And you probably have every reason in the book to do so, but no one knows Carly like I do. And no one would ever sacrifice their lives for Carly like I do."

"Jason, you really love her, don't you?" Alexis had never heard Jason talk about anyone like that, not even Sam.¨

"Yes, I do. But I could never tell her. We would self-destruct." He said, and it looked like he had gotten the weight of the world of his shoulders.

"There is no way Carly and I would end happily, so she is better of with Jax. He is a good guy, and he loves her, almost as much as I do."

Alexis felt that her heart broke when Jason said that Jax loved Carly, she knew it was true, it was why she had agreed to be Jax' best person. She wanted him to be happy, but it was still hard.

"I'm sorry," Jason said, like he somehow knew how Alexis was feeling.

"You haven't done anything wrong" Alexis said, before realizing that sounded slightly strange to say to Jason Morgan, mob-enforcer. "Well, at least not to me." She added.

Jason smiled to her, "You know what I mean. You haven't told him either."

"Am I that transparent?" Alexis asked, wondering why everybody except Jax could see that she was hopelessly in love with him.

"You're a Cassadine, Alexis. No Cassadines are transparent. But I recognize the look on your face when you look at Jax. I've seen it before."

He took a small moment to look into her eyes, and Alexis was intoxicated. The way he looked at her, like he understood, and it thrilled her. No one had looked at her like that in years, not since..

"You used to look at Sonny that way." Jason said.

Him. Not since him.

"Please, Jason." She said, and her voice changed immediately.

She NEVER talked about Sonny, and when she did she usually lied. Said it was a mistake, pretend it hadn't changed her life, pretended like she didn't love him and that she never had. Obviously that was all a lie; he had always been more than Kristina's father to her. He was the one man she had been willing to sacrifice everything for, but who would never do the same for her.

"Please, Jason. Could we just leave Sonny for tonight?"

Jason looked at her apologetically, like he knew why she didn't want to go there, like he was carrying the same secret inside.

"I'm sorry" he said again, and took her glass to fill it up again.

"I'm sorry too; I should never have brought up Carly. You didn't bring me here to talk. I guess it's just the place. She much happened here, and it's been so long."

Alexis looked at Jason, and saw something she had never seen in Jason's eyes, at least not this way. She had seen the love in his eyes when she had helped him with Michael, she had seen the hurt in his eyes when he gave up Sam, the heartbreak when he gave away Carly earlier, but she had never ever seen this look.

It scared her, it was so intense, and the blue eyes pierced into her. She caught her breath. And took another sip.

She knew she had already had too much to drink, it was probably the reason why she kept looking at Jason, seeing things she had never seen before, like the hardness of his upper body, or just how beautiful his eyes really were.

"Woah, wait a minute there Alexis" she told herself, since when was Jason Morgan's eyes any of her concern. Jason broke her thoughts.

"Alexis, I brought you here so I wouldn't be alone. So that I wouldn't end up doing something stupid, so that I wouldn't ruin this day for Carly."

He smiled at her, "So don't worry, actually I'm glad you are here. I've never seen this side of you. You are open, yet so closed, Alexis"

He brushed the hair away from her eyes, careful not to embarrass her, Alexis wasn't sure, but still pretty certain that Jason knew she was wearing a wig, but it didn't seem to bother him, and Alexis could feel herself shiver at his touch, this shouldn't be happening. He was JASON MORGAN. Her daughter's ex, Sonny's right hand, he wasn't for her. Yet, the feeling of his hand that was accidently brushing against her cheek was intoxicating.

"You know, you are a very strong, Alexis." He looked her, with admiration in his eyes, "You are battling this cancer while being so strong for your girls."

Alexis had no idea what was happening, she must be imagining things. Jason Morgan wasn't saying stuff like that to her. He just wasn't.

"Jason, I. It's nothing. Kristina, Molly and Sam are everything to me." She said, trying to keep her cool, but it was very hard when he kept looking at her like that.

"Shh.. " Jason said and put a finger over her lips. "You are extraordinary, Alexis"

Alexis was shocked, and confused, and before she knew it, she could feel his lips on hers.


	5. Forget Me Not

Alexis looked around. Where the hell was she? She knew she had been here before, it looked familiar, yet so very different, and her head hurt. Like crazy. Alexis turned her look over to the dresser that stood by the door, and she saw a picture of Michael and Morgan, then she remembered.

The Penthouse.

Jason.

Oh my God.

What had happened last night?

She touched her lips, and she remembered the kiss, the feeling still lingering on her lips. But was that all? Had anything else happened?

She couldn't remember…

She wasn't wearing her dress, but she was wearing something. She got out of bed, and looked in the mirror.

"This one is Sam's," she told herself when she saw herself in the mirror. She was wearing one of Sam's old t-shirts; she must have left it here.

Sam.

Oh my God, Sam.

How could she tell Sam? What would she tell Sam? Would she tell Sam?

And how had she ended up wearing Sam's t-shirt? She couldn't remember putting it on. Had Jason done it? Or could she just not remember doing it herself?

Wow, she couldn't even remember the last time she had gotten this drunk. So drunk that she actually blacked out.

It had been years since she had done it; it had been years since she had needed to do something like this. But her whole life was so totally screwed up.

She was in the middle of a divorce with a man she couldn't quite remember why she married to begin with, at the end of a custody battle, had just watched her best friend, whom she had been in love with since they had been married, marrythe one woman that she hated.

And on top of all of that, she had just kissed her daughters ex-fiancé. Just when she didn't think it could get more messed up, it did.

This was so wrong: she and Jason? Whatever the hell had happened should never have happened. But then why had it felt so damn good?

Damn, this suddenly got really complicated. It wasn't supposed to be complicated. She was supposed to get drunk, take a taxi home, and dream about black satin sheets, like she always did when she was drunk.

But now something had happened, and she had no other choice than to deal with it, whatever it might be.

--

Jason walked over to the counter and put on the coffee. Working for Sonny for 10 years had given him some serious coffee skills. His coffee wasn't as good as Sonny's, but it was pretty close.

And he had a feeling Alexis were going to need coffee. She had had way too much to drink last night, and Jason thought it was a wonder that he gotten her safely in to bed.

She had been pretty down after the wedding, and Jason wondered how Jax couldn't have seen it. Not have seen that Alexis was in love with him. It seemed pretty clear to him, and he usually never saw those things.

But maybe it was with Jax, like it was with him: it was easier to ignore the fact that your best friend is in love with you, then to actually deal with it. But he knew that he and Carly would be a disaster, he loved her once, with all of his being, and she had turned around and slept with his best friend. Sure she had her reasons but…

Jason's heart was still breaking from that betrayal, the betrayal that had happened before his heart was fully healed from the one before.

That was probably why last night had been so nice, felt so good. Because it had been an escape from all the crappy heartbreak stuff that seemed to be haunting him. Haunt both of them, he guessed.

It had been nice to laugh with someone who he didn't have all that history with, not in the same sense anyway. Alexis had always been different. She had always believed in him, like she did in everyone.

She believed in Sonny before he broke her heart, she had believed in Ric before he went and cheated on her with her daughter. Alexis believed in people, which is a miracle in itself seeing how she was raised.

He'd heard the story from Emily, how Helena had sliced Alexis' mother's throat right in front of her. Those things traumatized people, scarred them for life.

He poured the coffee in the cups when he heard Alexis coming down the stairs, and turned around.

"Good morning" he said, and smiled at her.

He was trying to show her that everything was normal, or as normal as it could be.

"Morning."

Jason noticed that she sounded a little hung over.

"Coffee?"

Alexis only nodded, so Jason placed the cup of coffee in front of her. Alexis lifted the cup and took a sip, and suddenly her expression changed.

"Wow, this is really really good, Jason."

"Thanks."

Jason really was a man of few words. He had never been much of a talker; he preferred to listen and as he had once told Sonny that that was why women liked him. Because he listened.

"Did Sonny teach you?"

"I learned from observation."

"I see. Well, it's really good, Jason. And I really needed it."

Jason smiled at her, almost winked. But decided against it. Alexis had picked up the paper, and had started reading it.

Jason looked at her, almost to the point of staring. He was wondering if he should mention the kiss, maybe she had forgotten it? She had been pretty drunk last night. And she had passed out on his lap, not too long after the kiss.

He had known that he shouldn't have kissed her; he shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that. But she had looked so beautiful, and so fragile. He just wanted to make it better. Like he always did, for everyone else.

Sure, Alexis had always been beautiful, but she had also always been out of reach. Never his. When she first began working for him and Sonny, she had been married to Jax, which he had later learned was only a marriage of convenience. Then she had gotten engaged to Ned, who was for all intensive purposes, his cousin, and then she slept with Sonny.

Sure, through all of this, he had had his own women: Carly, Liz. But he has always been oddly attracted to Alexis. She was strong, independent; she didn't take crap from anyone. But he had seen a softer side of her too, after realizing Sam was her daughter.

Yeah, Jason had been attracted to Ms. Alexis Davis for a little under a decade, but yesterday was the first time he had dared to make a move, had the chance to make a move.

Maybe that's why she had mentioned it; maybe she thought that he did it for other reasons. Maybe she thought it was because of Jax and Carly, or even Sonny or Kristina. Maybe she hadn't thought about it at all. Maybe she wants to forget about it.

Maybe they should forget about it, but Jason didn't want to. However wrong it might be, however messed up, and crazy, it had felt good kissing Alexis and it had felt even better when she kissed back.

Suddenly Alexis looked up from her newspaper and looked straight into Jason's eyes. It looked like she was having the same internal debate that he had been having. Should she say something or not?

"Jason, what really happened last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what HAPPENED? I woke up this morning in Sam's t-shirt, and I can't remember putting it on. So, Jason, what really happened last night?"

Jason hesitated for a couple of seconds.

"We kissed."

"I remember that part, Jason."

Alexis tried to flash a smile at him, but it seemed like something was not quite right.

"Nothing more, Alexis. You passed out not long after, I carried you upstairs and but I didn't put the t-shirt on you. I placed it on the bed, and put you down on it. You must have woken up sometime during the night."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Alexis."

"Okay, then I should probably go get dressed, and get home to my girls."

Alexis got out of her chair, and walked towards the stairs, before turning around.

"Why did you kiss me last night Jason?"

"Because I wanted to."

Easy as that, because he had wanted to.

"You shouldn't."

"Want to? But I do, Alexis. And more importantly, I want to kiss you again."

It was easier to tell her the truth after all, lying at this point made no sense, and he had no reason to lie to her. She had been pretty honest with him last night, so why shouldn't he return the favor? Besides, truth be told, he didn't believe in lies, not unless it was between life and death, and this wasn't. It was simple enough.

It looked like Alexis was shocked, like that wasn't what she had expected.

Jason moved forward towards her, looking her in the eyes.

"Jason, why would you want to kiss me again? Why would you want to kiss me at all?" she sounded very confused.

"You are beautiful, smart. And if I remember from your Eddie's Angel days. You look great in underwear."

Alexis laughed at him. "So not the time, Jason. But… still.. I … "

She looked at him, her eyes met him, just like they had the night before.

"This is not right, Jason. We can't do this. I can't. It will never work. It's not…Its not supposed.. I.. "

"Do you want me to kiss you again, Alexis?"

She looked conflicted, like she had to think about it. But she nodded. And Jason took that last step towards her, and placed his lips on hers once again.

And she kissed him back, with fiery passion this time. Like her life depended on it. They were lost in each other when…

"Stone Cold!? Goddess Mother!?"


	6. I Won't Forget You Either

**AN1: This chapter is pretty much the last chapter, only with Alexis point of view on the events that followed her coming down the stairs. **

**AN2: I calculated Alexis' age to be 43/44 based on the according to soapcentral's profile on Alexis Davis which states that she was 16 in 1980.. Jason is 33, seeing as they redid his year of birth to 1974 in 1990. However seeing as Nancy is 51, I just leave Alexis age somewhat up to the reader. .**

**AN3: Thank you so much to my beta, LauraDugan that makes my story readable. **

As Alexis was walking down the stairs, she saw Jason in the kitchen, and she smelled coffee, and it smelled really, really good.

"Good morning," he said, and smiled at her.

Jason smiled at her: smiled. Jason Morgan rarely smiled, what had happened last night? Could she really forget all of it?

"Morning."

It was the only thing she could come up with, for now. They could talk later, right now, she needed coffee and she needed it desperately. Her head was aching. And Alexis remembered why tequila was a bad idea. It gave her one heck of a hang-over.

"Coffee?"

Alexis only nodded, so Jason placed the cup of coffee in front of her. Alexis lifted the cup and took a sip, and suddenly her expression changed.

"Wow, this is really, really good, Jason."

"Thanks."

Jason always amazed Alexis, he never spoke too much, but yet he always gave off the impression that he cared. And this coffee was insanely good. It was almost as good as Sonny's.

"Did Sonny teach you?"

"I learned from observation."

Alexis figured that made more sense as well. Sonny might have tried to teach her to make something other than microwave popcorn, but she didn't quite see Sonny sitting down with all of his employees to teach them how to make coffee. She figured Sonny just expected them to be as good as him, or at least better than most at making coffee. At least the ones that worked at Sonnybucks.

"I see. Well, it's really good, Jason. And I really needed it."

And there it was again, him smiling at her. It felt good. Alexis tried to shake off that feeling; she really shouldn't feel good because Jason Morgan smiled at her.

It was wrong on so many levels. It just was. First of all, he was way younger than she was, by a lot. At least 10 years. And there was the fact that he was Sam's ex-fiancé, and she almost married his totally-forgotten_since-his-brother-drove-him-into-a-tree cousin. And there was Sonny.

There was always Sonny. Every choice she had made the last 5 years had been because of Sonny. She had married Ric to keep Sonny from getting custody of Kristina. He had always been in the back of her mind. Every choice, every step, every breath.

In many ways she had sacrificed everything for him. For him to be happy. She'd walked away so he could be with Carly, and they couldn't even make it work. She'd tried to give him everything, but he didn't want it.

And she was sick of it. Sick of sacrificing everything because of Sonny. Tired of walking away because of Sonny. Tired of losing because of Sonny.

And why did she really care what Sonny thought? How her every action would affect Sonny? Sure, she loved him, and she had done so for the last 5 to 6 years, but he never loved her back. She wasn't sure if anyone had truly loved her back. Maybe Ned. She loved Jax, she was in love with Jax, and she was in love with Sonny. She understood why it was so hard for women like Carly and Brenda to make up their minds. They were both strong hearted, caring, and 100% completely lovable. They just didn't love her.

Sonny was the worst. She was IN Jax' life and she always would be. They were best friends, and she could always lean on him. Sonny on the other hand, other than the fact was Kristina's father, and his opinion mattered, he had pretty much been shut out of his life and she never seemed to have a say in the girls that Sonny brought into her daughter's life.

Why shouldn't she take this chance? Jump into it, with her feet first? Do something for herself for a change. She could at least try to talk to him about it. Find out what really happened last night. Try to find out why she had ended up in Sam's old t-shirt.

So, Alexis looked up from her newspaper and looked straight into Jason's eyes. She'd made up her mind. Time to find out what really happened.

"Jason, what really happened last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what HAPPENED? I woke up this morning in Sam's t-shirt, and I can't remember putting it on. So, Jason, what really happened last night?"

She saw he hesitated, wondering what that meant. Had she really done something that stupid?

"We kissed."

She let out her breath. "I remember that part, Jason."

Alexis tried to flash a smile at him, but it didn't really feel like it came out the way she wanted it too. She was still concerned about what might have happened.

"Nothing more, Alexis. You passed out not long after, I carried you upstairs and but I didn't put the t-shirt on you. I placed it on the bed, and put you down on it. You must have woken up sometime during the night."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Alexis."

Oh, that was a relief. Or was it? Had she hoped that something more had happened? Something she had forgotten? Sure it was easier this way. Nothing too drastic, and nothing too drastic would happen.

"Okay, then I should probably go get dressed, and get home to my girls."

Alexis got out of her chair, and walked towards the stairs, then it hit her. Why had Jason kissed her last night? Because he needed comfort? Because she was as messed up as he was? Because of the shared pain of losing Carly and Jax?

"Why did you kiss me last night, Jason?"

"Because I wanted to."

He wanted to? That didn't make sense, why would he want to kiss her? She was Alexis Davis. He had known her for almost a decade, and there had never been any sexual chemistry between them before.

It was wrong, and it didn't make sense.

"You shouldn't."

"Want to? But I do, Alexis. And more importantly, I want to kiss you again."

Kiss her again? No, no. no. no. That could not happen. I mean, why would he want that? He was used to having girls like Liz, Courtney, Sam and Carly. And she was certainly nothing like Carly. Nothing what so ever.

And she would never be like Carly, or Sam, or Courtney. Maybe not even Liz. So why would Jason want to kiss her?

Something was not right here. She must be dreaming or hallucinating.

Jason moved forward towards her, looking her in the eyes. And it scared Alexis, his look was so intoxicating. So dangerous. So wrong.

"Jason, why would you want to kiss me again? Why would you want to kiss me at all?"

"You are beautiful, smart. And if I remember from your Eddie's Angel days. You look great in underwear."

Eddie's Angels. She had almost forgotten about her. Almost. It was her most embarrassing memory, and it still freaked her out that she might be hanging on a bar in the middle of nowhere, so that drunken bikers could look at her in her underwear.

But still Alexis laughed at him. "So not the time, Jason. But… still.. I … "

She looked at him, her eyes met his, just like they had the night before.

"This is not right, Jason. We can't do this. I can't. It will never work. It's not…It's not supposed.. I.. "

"Do you want me to kiss you again, Alexis?"

Did she? Maybe. But she shouldn't. She really shouldn't. But she did want to, she wanted to desperately. She wanted to taste his lips without all the alcohol. She wanted to know if the way she had felt last night when he kissed her was because she was drunk, or if it was something so much more than that.

But how.. She couldn't, but she would. So she nodded, hoping he would go for it and he did. He leaned forward and his lips met hers. And she realized, it wasn't just the alcohol. Kissing Jason Morgan gave her that tickling feeling in her stomach. The kind she hadn't had in years, not since..

So she kissed him back, with fiery passion this time. Like h**e**r life depended on it. They were lost in each other when…

"Stone Cold!? Goddess Mother!?"


End file.
